H.M. Smallwares Orange Tuxedo Top Hat

Listen, we get what it’s like when everyone wants you to live in a black and white world. They want you to follow the rules and pay your taxes and stop trying to get the late-night pizza delivery guy to give you a free ride over to your buddy’s house, even if it is on the way. But that’s just not how you operate, maaaan! They might see the world in straight lines and thin borders, but you see it in vivd living color, and you’re not going to change for anybody…not even for your favorite cousin Rob, who wants to be a total drag by making you wear black and white tuxedo for his wedding.

Well, you tell that Rob to stick it, because you gotta be you, and so you’re wearing this Orange Tuxedo Hat, whether he likes it or not. Sure, it might get you kicked out of the bridal party and inadvertently alienate your whole family, but at least you’ll keep your individuality!